One of the basic needs of all human beings according to Tony Robbins is significance. Each one of us wants to feel a sense of accomplishment and success regardless of what we are doing. The one thing that comes along with that success is the development and growth of the natural human ego. The way we think, feel and express ourselves on a day-to-day basis gives a good insight into our individual egos.
We’ve all been around a person that has an inflated view of who they are and what they’ve accomplished. Your ego is always going to put your priorities on the top of your list. In these instances, ego is expressed through attention-seeking, power hungry, controlling behavior.
A big ego can cause resentment within any relationship and especially within a team structure. Nothing constructive comes from resentful interactions. Below you’ll see a few suggestions to deal with your ego and maximize your interactions.
Let go of the need to win
Your ego loves to make things seem like it’s you versus me and if I beat you it elevates me above you to a certain extent. Winning is impossible to do all the time. You are going to lose occasionally because you are bound to run into someone who is better than you, at some point. Remember winning/losing and/or successes/failures do not define a person; they are simple outcomes to an individual event. We can’t look in the mirror and call ourselves a winner or a loser based on one specific event. Define yourself by how you handle those events.
Stop having to be right all the time
Your ego will act as a source of conflict for you. When you’ve became stuck on a point that you know is correct you will fight and argue that point regardless of right or wrong. Ego will cause you to forget that when we are in decision-making discussions, it’s not’s about who is right but it’s about what is right. We all have the need to feel superior. Your challenge is to stay focused on your growth and understand that that might mean you’re wrong.
Stop worrying about your rep
As much as we want to think that reputation is something that is inside of us, it’s a completely external factor. You might run into 10 different people through out a day and each person is going to have a different idea of what they think your reputation is. Your ego will spend a lot of time worrying about what others are going to think and what rewards you might gain. Remember that you need to stay focused on the PROCESS, not the OUTCOME. You have to take responsibility for what actually resides inside you: your character.